AIP RULE SIX
Never Use Violence As a Means Of SoLving
Childhood Behaviorial Problems
VIOLENCE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ONE OF THE SPICES OF LIFE
Teaching children the non-violent tools and rules of society should
be a time of fun learning, not stern learning, or episodes of violence perpetrated against a child by the parent. This, in order for the child to feel he is benefitting by getting himself ahead of the game of life
When children live with parents who display themselves as real-life adult examples of those who use violence to solve behavioral problems, the children are undeniably damaged by their closest personal encounter with the violence that pervades our society. This is exacerbated by the media’s constant exploitation of violent programming.
I had a friend who was violently beaten by his parents as a means of dealing with his bad behavior. When he became a parent, he inflicted violence on his son, and laughed and talked about his practices at the office. He was desensitized to the hurt he was imposing on his only son.
The son who he violently attacked, became one of the most violent prone people in his neighborhood, and was eventually incarcerated as a result of his violent acts.
Using compulsion and physical corrections often escalates aggression. I have always said “Aggression incites aggression”. If you get aggressive with your child first, he is likely to get aggressive back and if he gets aggressive with you and you reply with more aggression you have compounded the problem. He might take it out on his siblings. He might react violently at school, or in the neighborhood.
Parents are the ones who are supposed to have self-control in the household. It’s up to the parents to use their minds to handle tense situation in the home non-violently. It is clearly defeatist for parents to use physical strength to handle unruly situations with children!
Undoubtedly, parents who are addressing aggressiveness in a child should talk with the child daily about the positive elements of non-violence as opposed to displaying the negative aspects of violence.
Many parents inherently believe in corporal punishment. They obviously don't believe that this violent activity causes children to be fearful, stressed, and of a destructive nature. When a child experiences his or her body stroked for punishment, this punishment weans itself into the child’s psyche as a viable means of solving problems in his or her own life, and fuels the violent activity we see in today’s world.
It follows that much of the violence perpetrated by the youth of today finds its way back to violence having been committed on them. Clearly, whipping the child actually causes more harm than good.
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