THE PRICELESS VALUE OF ATTENTIVE LISTENING
Copyright © 1977-2013- J. Morris Anderson- Phila. PA - All Rights Reserved
Your most essential step in effective listening is to consistently use your M + S + PA proficiency to expand the depth of your listening comprehension. This will enable you to pay attention to each word and become instantly attuned to what is said while you exclude all the insignificant clatter attempting to steal your attention. You should practice repeating in your mind the idea of what you heard., Constant practice of this will enable you to automatically confirm your understanding of what the other person said.
The next time you're communicating, before you respond to what is being said to you, take as much time as is necessary to totally assimilate an understanding of that which is spoken to you.
Use every tool you can muster to successfully understand what others are saying. Don't be too anxious to respond with your own outlook on the subject. Many people are so selfishly concerned with what they wish to say that they refuse to listen to the points of view of what others are saying to them.
You should practice repeating in your mind the thoughts of what you heard. Constant practice of this will enable you to automatically confirm your understanding of what the other person said.
The point is, don't be guilty of refusing to understand what others are saying because all of your concentration is on stating your own points.
One of your greatest assets when listening with your ears is to employ your eyes as a silent listening tool. It will amplify your listening power. Therefore, it’s extremely important that you look at a speakers non-non-verbal statements revealed by his eyes, his movements, and meaningful expressions he is sending you. Sometimes its advantageous to look and listen between the words.
The personnel department of an intelligence agency would be wise to be more concerned with an agent's ability to listen and understand than with his ability to talk. An undercover agent must possess the positive listening traits that won't cause others to conceal their ideas, fears, selfish motives and emotions. His job requires him to come across positively so that he won't antagonize people by arguing mentally, spiritually or physically with them. He must get into the mental groove of others. He must be capable of judging the effect of his presence on them.
I asked a movie-star friend why women acted as if he were God's gift to the world, why they yielded to his beck and call.
He said, "It's quite simple, buddy. Some people think it's what you tell a woman; it's the opposite with me. I know how to listen to them. I determine what they want by doing this.
He smiled confidently, and said, "I never attempt to second-guess the ladies with whom I spend time. It's obvious that they know more about their desires, needs and aspirations than I do. If a woman wants to be treated gently, she'll tell me. If she wants to be catered to, she'll inform me. She might want independence from tender loving care. Then she might desire rough treatment. If you listen compassionately and with adequate understanding, a woman will tell you exactly how to treat her."
He continued, "My greatest pleasure comes from satisfying women. Therefore I have spent a great deal of time developing scientific techniques to enable me to provide the women in my life with heartfelt satisfaction. When you analyze my techniques, they all relate to my ability to relax with a female and listen, then respond with positive input based on what she has told me."
When he concluded, I knew without being aware of it that he was practicing M + S + PA = U
Of course, if everyone spent all his time listening, no one would be talking and we would spend our lives in silence. That is why it is so true: "He who listens intelligently is qualified to talk intelligently."
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